SEEKING GOD – Topical Study - Step 5b
My personal testimony and conclusions:
I can’t explain it but when I was a little girl I had a real thirst to know God. I wanted to be in places where I could learn about God or with people that could teach me about Him.
We had a few “spiritual books” at home like the Bible, and The Imitation of Christ. I read and studied them both. As a little Catholic girl I studied the nuns and priests and saw that they had given their whole life up to God. I wanted to do the same. I never understood why I was so thirsty for God but now I see that God Himself had put that in my heart. He had singled me out as an individual (as he actually does for each of us) and wanted me to know and love Him. So it turns out that He wanted a relationship with me way before I really knew to want one with Him. I was just an ordinary kid growing up in an ordinary home and yet God wanted a relationship with me! Amazing!
My seeking for God went through different stages. I remember as a little girl being with my family at our cabin in northern Minnesota. I would take my books and be gone for hours looking at the river, the sky, and the general beauty around me. Inevitably my thoughts we be drawn to think about God. I enjoyed those days very much.
When I would go to our Catholic Church I would sit and just look up at all the pictures and statues and especially the giant crucifix where God’s Son was hanging. I didn’t understand it all at but in time I learned that God had sent His Son Jesus to our earth so that we could each get to know His father. I saw after some years that Jesus had to die because of MY sin. If I had been the only human alive He would have died in my place so that I could know God. I remember well the night that I committed my life to living it all for Him. I didn’t know what that exactly meant but I knew that life without Him would be meaningless. I wanted my life to count for God and told Him so.
Leaping Forward In My Relationship With God
My dad had given me a little New Testament that had been issued to Him in the Navy. Through this, I discovered the Bible. I would read little bits of it at night and ponder the words until I fell asleep. Then, I became friends with some kids in school that met to study the Bible. I was eager to join them and learn. Several years passed and I was now in college. I had gone to an evening service on our campus and the Pastor said something that caused my relationship with God to leap forward with great strides.
He said something like this: “If you want to get to know God you need to spend time with Him. Each morning you should read some of the Bible and then pray to Him.” He didn’t elaborate much more at that service but it was enough to get me started. The next day I got up an hour early. I figured that I would read the Bible for ½ hour and then pray for ½ hour. And so I have done for all my life. The Bible isn’t just a book. It’s God’s food for me to eat! It’s His love letter to me. He gives me direction, guidance and hope through His word. The more I read and studied the more I wanted to read and study. Whether I felt like anything was happening or not I was getting to know God!
Prayer was harder for me because how do you talk to someone you can’t see? But, the amazing thing was the more I read His Word the more real He became to me. In a short time it wasn’t like I was talking with an “invisible man” at all . I knew I was talking to God and He was listening, answering and showing me things that I could never have known on my own. Bible study and prayer became so exciting.
Now 48 years later they are still exciting. Seeking God never gets boring because there is always more of Him to know. He is eternal and He has put eternity into my heart so that I will always be reaching out to Him. He will always have more to reveal to me of Himself and it will be that way until I see Him face to face.
I keep a small reporter’s notebook with me at all times. Everyday I anticipate and watch for what God is doing that day. He is often working on my behalf; giving me favor with someone or going ahead of me to smooth the way. He answers a prayer or gives me revelation about something. Everyday I look to see what He is doing and everyday I have something to write down!
Seeking God will remain the passion of my life. I still find Him through the same three channels that He has put here for all of us to use. Nature inspires me to look up and away to God who made all the beauty. I love Jesus and look to Him for His provision, grace, and forgiveness. We go through our days together and there isn’t anything we can’t talk about. The Bible becomes more precious with each reading, for it too is eternal and therefore there is always more to learn. Life will never be boring while seeking God!