Security Can't Be the Basis of Marriage

By Rev. Ernest O'Neill

And the only basis for solid marriage is God intended us to be together, husband and wife, and we have made an agreement that will prejudice our sole salvation if we break it.

Loved ones, that provides a security that is not like anything else in the world.  That gives your loved one a security that no one else can give.  That no declaration of your fickle feelings at that particular moment can improve on, and that’s really the only basis for marriage.  Loved ones, it just cannot be, “I want security,” it can’t be, no. The basis for marriage can’t be, “I want security.  I need somebody to look after me in my old age.  I need somebody to provide for me.  Well I’m tired working, I need somebody to earn the money so that I can have children, and I always like playing with dolls, and playing with homes, and I want to be free to do that, so I want somebody to provide for me while I do it.”  Loved ones, it can’t be that, don’t we see that?  It can’t be that he will give you, your security, because then you quake every time the poor fella loses the job.  You quake every time the recession hits.  You drive him crazy every time he doesn’t seem to be giving you what you think you should have, materially.

It can’t be security.  It can’t be dear brothers, it can’t be, “I’ll marry her so that I’ll feel some significance, so that I’ll have children, and I’ll at least be able to reproduce myself, and make a little bigger splash in the world, or maybe I’ll have somebody that will look up to me when I come home, and get my slippers out, and make things right for me. “ Loved ones, it can’t be that.  You can’t marry the poor dear, because you expect her to give you the significance that maybe nobody else gives you at work.  And it’ll just fall apart, if you continue to look to her for that significance.

It can’t even be for happiness, loved ones, it really can’t.  It can’t be marrying so that she’ll give you a happy life, or marrying so that he’ll give you a happy life, because I would imagine most husbands and wives here will agree, there are many times when it is not happy, happy, happiness, it just isn’t.  There are hard times.  There are times when the greatest thing that you have is that dear one, who just stays with you through it all, but she can’t give you much happiness at the time.