The Basis of Marriage Isn't Love!

By Rev. Ernest O'Neill

Now, brothers and sisters I would really encourage you to take part in the conversation with me, and we’ll just trust the Holy Spirit to show me when to stop talking, and when to let us have questions, and go back and forward a little.  I say that because, we in this society, have been so brain washed with wrong concepts of marriage, that it is very important that I don’t just try to brain wash you with another concept, but that we have a real opportunity to interact with each other on the whole subject, so that we really are convinced of what God’s plan is.

I’d start off by making this statement, that the basis of marriage is not love.  The basis of marriage is not love.  The basis of marriage is God’s will.  Now I think the Holy Spirit will show you a modification of that as we go on, but I think that’s the first truth for us to receive into our hearts.  And I know all your happy little hearts are rebelling like mad against it.  But loved ones, the basis of marriage is not love, as we so often think of love.  The basis of marriage is God’s will, and that’s the truth you have stated clearly in that Old Testament scripture, and it’s the truth that is taught repeatedly through the Bible in regard to marriage.

Abraham, when he required a son, a wife for his son, did not tell Isaac to go out and put a telescope on the girls going to the well, and notice the one with blonde with hair, or the one that walked especially attractively, or the one that looked as if he could live with her satisfactorily for life.  Abraham did not do that. Abraham’s first concern was, “What is God’s choice for my son?”  And that is the whole basis of the story loved ones, and it’s even the basis on which the in-laws agree to it.  If you like to look at it, it’s Genesis 24:50, and Rebekah’s father treats it that way.  Genesis 24:50, “Then Laban and Bethuel answered, ‘The thing comes from the LORD; we cannot speak to you bad or good.  Behold, Rebekah is before you, take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the LORD has spoken.’”   Now that‘s the only basis for a good marriage, that God wills for two people to be husband and wife.

So loved ones, it is madness to look at a guy, or girl and try to judge from your own point of view of your foresight, and you’re guessing what they’re going to be like, it’s madness to try to judge will they be suitable for you.  The only way to start a marriage is to know that God wants this person for your wife, and God wants this person as your husband, and that’s the only basis for marriage.  That’s why the wedding service has those words in it, “I take thee to be my lawful wedded wife to live together according to the law of God in the holiest state of matrimony. I undertake to love her, keep her, and then I plight thee my troth.  There to, I plight thee my troth.”

And plight is the old English word ‘I make’, and troth is the old word for ‘covenant’.  And there to I make a covenant with you.  And that’s the basis of the wedding, that because God has indicated that you should be husband and wife you make a covenant that, that’s it.  “Lord, I don’t care what she does; I don’t care what he does.  Lord God, you’ve indicated that we’re to be man and wife, I make a covenant here in the presence of this congregation, and in the presence of the angels, and arch angels, and all the company of heaven, and I make it in the name of Jesus, your only begotten Son, and I call heaven to witness that I make an agreement with this women, that I stay with her till death us do part.”  Why?  “Because I think she’s going to turn out right, because I like the look of her, because I like being with her?”  No, no.  All those things are uncertain, and none of them may obtain, but because you have indicated Lord God, that we should be husband, and wife together.